Fosters

Not many people remember the place I've mentioned in the title. It was one of the old landmark restaurants of the city....the place where everyone went with family, friends, everyone. I had actually forgotten about it...rather the memory had faded into the background images of my mind until she brought it up the other day. It was so surprising that she remembered that place :)

I remembered so much about the place....how it was our family outing dinner place..how it was the last place I had dinner with my father....2 days before he died. We tried going there again after he died but it was just never the same for us. Slowly over time, the city grew and other places opened....the restaurant moved to a new place I remember and then finally closed down. There's a bank now where it used to be but I can still picture it. I can still picture how it looked from the outside....I can still picture the regular place the 5 of us used to sit in.

I guess it's time to make new memories now....new happy memories :) I'm optimistic about it....when I speak to them I feel comfortable....accepted....I see the possibility of happiness there and I want to grab it.

It rained today...I don't know why but rain always makes me sad. I feel strange saying this to people because in a city where everyone rejoices and celebrates the rain, I feel like the only one who is saddened by it.

Right times....Right persons

You'd be lucky to find that one person who regardless of the situation will always make you smile and calm you down....the one person who makes your heart skip a beat and feel warm. The ones who find that one person on the first try are the luckiest ones I suppose....the rest of us try several times and perhaps fail...often we end up with situations where we find comfort in the fact that atleast it's better than loneliness.

But when you do find that one person....I believe that everything starts to happen naturally and automatically. Sometimes people tell us that the time isn't right....it's never about the right time...the right person can come along at any time....would we rather wait and risk the loss of the right person just so we can say it wasn't the right time. I don't think so. Right now I believe is the right time because it is the right person.

It's also very interesting that when you tell people that you've gone through what I recently did...they suddenly think that I'm depressed....trying to explain further to them that you're not tends to make them think you're in denial....well I'm getting free meals out of it all so why not :)

Ramadan is almost over....a week to go now....I'm going to miss the half days at work....at the same time I will perhaps once again be able to have continuous sleep....waking up in the middle of the night to eat is just not right.

End of an era

I've lived in one particular area of the city for almost 20 years now....not the same house but the area has been pretty much the same. And in all that time, there has been a corner store near my house that we've all been to for groceries. We saw it grow from a small and modest corner store to a bustling general store that became the main selling point of the area. Now it seems that the brothers who ran it have developed some sort of a feud and have split. So the big store that had developed has now been split into a 1:3 ratio with the younger brother getting the smaller portion.

It's sad to see.....when you have so many memories of that store and now you see a split. I suppose this is how things go about nowadays....

Ramadan randomness

I'll admit ramadan makes me very lazy! No matter how many naps you take in the day, the lack of a full night's sleep is a killer. The lack of food or water really doesnt get to me at all...its the lack of sleep. Well a week or so more to go now...then its back to the normal routine. Normal...oh yeah...normal is going to be redefined now based on the new situation....one end and one beginning. I'm optimistic :) dare I say happy....

But this is bittersweet....no matter how bad the past was...it was a part of me....and I realized no matter how many bad memories you have....you will pause when the ultimate decision is to be made.

At work, I realize I have now become the project naming guy....from regeneration to genesis to venus.....I now have an entire library of uniquely named projects to my credit :)

Scrutiny and indifference

I yearn for a time when I don't need approvals from people to live my life the way I want....to do the things I want....it frustrates me at times that even though everyone may agree with something they still feel the need to go over everything I say with a fine comb and suggest how best to do things or even not to do them. I need simplicity....I need this to work on its own and not have a crowd of people interfere.....I know that it will happen....there's no avoiding the interference.

This was supposed to be simple and now I feel claustrophobic....overwhelmed....confused by the indifference shown at times and the positivity at the other times. Yes I don't live in greys a lot....especially when it comes to things like this....in these I believe in black and white....yes or no....care or indifference. Why is it so hard to just pick one? I try going with the flow but the flow changes speed all of a sudden and I am caught unaware and by the time I catch up to it...it slows back down and I have to again struggle to maintain pace.

16 years....

This weekend marked the continuation and the 16th annual iftar meet up that I have going with a very close group of school friends. We started going back in 1995 and have managed it every year ever since then.....so many things have happened in these 16 years but this has remained constant :) We started off with the annual pizza ritual and I can still remember hogging ourselves with an endless supply of pizza....then over the years we moved to other places and other options.

It's so strange to think that when we started this we were all idealistic teenagers with not a care in the world and now we're all touching 30 with so many issues.....we've come so far but it only takes a few minutes to take us right back to the very first iftar plan and although the jokes may have changed....the basic humor remains the same :)

Another interesting day ahead :) a day of perhaps a little bit of awkwardness and perhaps some nervousness but a day I am determined to make go well :)