Primal drive

What drives normal people to become bloodthirsty vicious beings? This weekend on shift both nights I saw people who hold normal everyday jobs revert to their most primal nature and inflict unnecessary amounts of pain onto eachother. A simple night out for some has now ended up being a life altering night and will change the way they go about their day to day lives. Are our lives now so stressful and controlled that given the smallest outlet we will explode and just revert to our most basic animal nature?

I am unable to fathom it! Yes I will go after you and I will make you account for what you have done but after all is said and done at the end of my shift I will sit down and wonder....Why?

5 years now

It's been over 5 years now....since I decided on a whim on fine day to move away from home for a longer time than I ever had done before. I can't seem to remember exactly all the thoughts that went into the decision but it was made and here I am. So much has changed, so much has progressed. Life has been turned on it's head from where it was back then and I am in a situation I never thought I'd be in. A family to take care of, a little one fully dependent on me and responsibilities. I still do miss home though! I miss the simplicity of life that I found only at home. I don't mean the luxuries or the ease of life, just the way that everything is simpler back there and there's always family around you to fall back on.

I thought homesickness would go away eventually....it hasn't and perhaps it never will. Going back is not an easy decision, particularly now that I have 2 other people to think of. But in the corner of my mind I still wonder at times just how it would be if we were back there. Part of me (a big part) smiles at that thought.

Winter is coming

The days turn shorter and the darkness stays on longer now. Every year as winter approaches I am conflicted between my love for the smell of winter nights and the dreariness that winter inevitably brings with it. With night shifts, the winter nights seem longer and somehow more so quiet. On patrol in the middle of nowhere I find peace at times and I pray that it all stays silent and calm. As the wind blows through the trees and the night stirs to the sound of this wind, I want time to stop so I can take it all in and stay at peace. But then, the world comes crashing in and the calmness is swept away.