Failed justice

After 29 years I still don't forget the time I heard those 3 words. Those 3 words came crashing down on us all and changed my life in a way I never imagined. This year, I tried to do something different on the day, I took a night shift to try and bring justice where 29 years ago justice had failed us. This isn't something that's easy to understand I suppose, not many will see this as a reason and say yes we get it, but in my own way, having done all I did that night, I feel I was able to help people on a night when 29 years ago no one helped us.

Am I still bitter and unaccepting of reality? Yes I am! It's unfair and I'll say it's unfair till the day I die.

No exits

The building was back last night in my dreams and so was he just outside it. I remember being able to see him through a window and gesturing that I'm coming down; and then it all starts all over again. An endless maze of stairs and elevators, through endless corridors filled with people who look through me as if I don't exist and me trying my best to ask someone how to get out. Every time I approach a new door I'm filled with hope which quickly turns to despair once the door opens to expose yet another room. Deep inside I can feel he's still out there waiting but I'm just helplessly lost inside this place.

What does all this mean?

Beat on against the current

Day after day we go forth trying to make this day better than the last, trying harder to achieve our goals and our ambitions. We solidify our belief that in constantly going forward we will at one point achieve all that has eluded us; the past is not to be dwelt upon, it is only to be learnt from.

"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past"  - this line from one of my favourite books personifies the struggle so well