Realization

Sometimes it's the smallest of things that make you realize just how much time has gone past since certain days. Playing an old song that I used to love back in my school days it suddenly hit me that the song came out over 20 years ago! The 90s was not just some years back, it was 20 years ago! To think of all the castles in the sky we all were building and how they've ended up.

Long ago

It's finally hit the big 30 mark; 30 years now to the event that defined so much of who I am and so much of what I am. 30 years ago he walked out the door never to return and every year since then I feel the day shrouded in darkness and deafening silence. I've tried so very hard to not think of this but I've failed miserably. It's amazing to think that even after all these years I haven't accepted what happened, still consider it to be unfair and unjust. Perhaps in time I will grow to accept it as an event that deifned my personality; changed who I was meant to be. I guess I'll never know how I would have ended up had I known him longer.

The memory of other days fades away slowly but not this one....this one lingers....it was long ago but it still seems like yesterday.

Too much to bear

What do you tell a man who has had everything taken away from him in life? When he stands at the brink about to let go of it all, you try out all the usual techniques but then with this one how could it have worked? When he told me what he had been through, it really got to me. Losing a daughter is a pain no one could even imagine, and then his sister-in-law and his brother take their own lives within a span of a few weeks from eachother - that is a lot of loss to have to deal with. I can't even begin to imagine what the last few months have been like for him because ALL of this happened in that time period. He didn't pull back from the brink, I don't think I could have said anything that wouold have brought him back. All I could do was watch as he slipped away and I was left with the empty shell that he had become.