Perhaps not prudent

They say I should put aside any grievances and make an effort to reestablish a connection with a certain person. Most people think this is the right thing to do, the logical thing to do...perhaps even the prudent thing to do. But there's just one question that comes to my head when I think of this person....."How did you expect me to ever take life away from the person who gave it to me in the first place?" Even if the last few weeks were tough and not pleasant, she finished her time in the manner it was written and not by someone else's choice. 

It was 3 days before my birthday when this person asked me to consider euthanasia; consider is a small word for the pressure I was put under. There was never a good time to push me to consider it but this was especially the worst possible time to bring it up.  If nothing else, I will always remember that my birthday cake was the last one she ever had. Call me strange but that means something to me.

So, no matter what everyone thinks is the more sensible thing to do, I will stick to my emotions and to my morals here.

Proud

I've always believed that dreams are a portal to something else....this got exemplified in a strong way last night.

I was in my car going to work, my mother was sat next to me in the back, it was the building of the office I started out my career in but I looked like I do now, not as I did 18 years ago. As the car stopped, she leaned over to hug me and kissed me on my forehead. She said, all the best, I am very proud of you. Her radiant smile was there. I got out of the car and walked towards the entrance, as I looked back, she was still in the car waving at me with a look of pride on her face. That's when I woke up.

Tomorrow, as I start my new role at work, this is so pertinent. She was always so proud of my work accomplishments....perhaps the one who was always the proudest. The last time I got promoted, she called people at midnight to let them know. She would have done the same now.....she would have been so proud.