Scents

In the house we lived where it was mostly just me and my mother for many years, we had jasmine flowers in the garden. I can vividly recall the strong smell that emanated from them at night. The other day, I came across this same smell and it made me think of those days and those memories came rushing back. It was a very simple house, we had our struggles but now that I run my own house, I realise just how difficult it would have been for my mother to run that house on her own. Life was so much simpler for me then....so much ahead of me that I never realised that I should have been cherishing those moments.

Unresolved feelings

I was in the old house again in my dream last night. But it was a strange environment.....all the doors were closed and I could sense sadness. I wonder what this means. I saw my mother but she was quiet, drawn inwards and not talking much. I felt perhaps she was sad. This worries me....so far I've only seen her happy in my dreams. I know this reflects more on my unresolved emotions at the loss but it still hurt me....all day that's all I could think of. Will I move on from this? I never moved on from the loss of my father and that was 37 years ago.