Of endings and beginnings

I always wondered what it would be that would in my mind turn the switch off.....the switch that was half turned anyways because of the way you had become. I still can't say for sure exactly what it was that turned the switch completely off but I am sure that it is. I feel nothing......only anger. Anger that I let this go on for so long.....anger that I let you do all this to me. Please don't make it messy now....I really want a clean break.

Then at the other end of the spectrum there's SI.....I don't know what to make of all this. I really don't. I mean I see so much in there but then there are so many scars now that there's complete fear of developing anything. I'm afraid of the manic routine you have.....I don't know how I can fit in....in the long run I mean....right now it's all workable but later...?? I guess I'll take the plunge....I'll let it develop into anything it can be. All I know is....I'm happy for now :) very happy