I see people's lives moving on so fast....I sometimes think I'm stuck in a particular time period....atleast in my head and I really just don't want to get out of it. Maybe I'm clinging on to some things that should be let go of now.
I wonder if I am going round in circles trying to improve on things which will probably stay the way they have forever. I thought she'd understand by now....understand a little bit about what goes on in my head. It's an unusual relationship this one....sometimes I'm not too sure of what holds us together....social pressure? That's a horrifying thought! I think of all that was and all that could have been....the "what if" haunts me daily until I get some pills to take my mind off it. I know I have made horrific mistakes in the past and some very good people have suffered because of my stupidities and childishness. All I can say to you all is that I truly am very sorry. Just let me move on....or atleast try to move on.
I'm going to be positive though....although the only positive I can find is in work....and then you wonder why I'm a workoholic! It's because I find peace here....I know how sad that sounds........
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