Came across an old envelope a couple of days ago....just stood out because it seemed old and a little tattered. Opened it and realized it was my fathers'....it had 6 passport size pictures of him in it and some hand written notes. I don't know where this envelope came from....suddenly just got found lying among a bunch of things. I wonder what they were for? Was he giving them to the person whose name was written on the envelope or was he just keeping them for something else?
I looked at the pictures for a while....also his handwritten notes....I felt a connection there...something I haven't had for 23 years now. These were pictures from around the time he passed away....and I still can't accept the fact that he's gone...the anger is still there....I want to know why! I want to know who I would've been if he had been around.
I also realized a similarity between the 2 of us....he didn't smile when taking photographs for official use....I always like knowing that we are alike. I can't explain why....perhaps in my own way I'm trying so hard to be like him....but no.....he was probably a much better person than I've turned out to be. Do I disappoint him wherever he is now? I hope not.....but I fear that I do. It's so not fair!!
I looked at the pictures for a while....also his handwritten notes....I felt a connection there...something I haven't had for 23 years now. These were pictures from around the time he passed away....and I still can't accept the fact that he's gone...the anger is still there....I want to know why! I want to know who I would've been if he had been around.
I also realized a similarity between the 2 of us....he didn't smile when taking photographs for official use....I always like knowing that we are alike. I can't explain why....perhaps in my own way I'm trying so hard to be like him....but no.....he was probably a much better person than I've turned out to be. Do I disappoint him wherever he is now? I hope not.....but I fear that I do. It's so not fair!!
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