There's no point of trying to rely on the passage of time to reduce the pain. There are some things that do not reduce in intensity even after years - this is one of them. It's not that I don't accept this, I do....I knew all along that this was coming and it happened in a way that involved me so deeply that acceptance is not in question. I suppose what haunts me is how blind I had been to the attitude I had towards her over all these years. I never realised that once she was gone I would even miss the forwarded messages every morning.
I am sad that she never got to see my home, she never got to have a comfortable life. I know she would say she had it but I could have done more. All of that is just castles in the sky now. I've said it before and I stand by it, the most haunting words in our language are: "What IF"
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